Cannibalism: The Safe Way

A couple of years back I was introduced to the wonderful world of hufu, a wonderful soybased tofu product design to resemble, and taste like, human flesh. And recently I got to revisit this topic while writing an article on the subject.

I am, for those who don't know it already, a fervent believer in cannibalism as a rational use of available natural resources. Humans are meat, and once expired (the human part, not the meat part of course), we should be returned to the cycle of life. I don't care how, as long as we are used for something and aren't just a waste of space. Unfortunately, a waste of space is exactly what most of us are while we're alive, apart from occasional fertilization of woodlands when out camping, we don't give a lot back. In death, we finally have a chance to do something about it. Either as a decomposing (and fertilizing) body or as food for animals and other humans. Like I said, we're just meat.

However, that doesn't mean I'm not aware of the problem this presents to the vegan and vegetarian communities out there. Even though it doesn't harm any animals, most of them are against cannibalism. This is where hufu comes in. Through human-tasting tofu products these people can at least feel like they're taking part in the cycle of life, even if they have willfully distanced themselves from it. Isn't that great?

And for those cannibals out there who wish to change their way, or cut back on salty europeans, hufu is an excellent way to start out a diet. I heartily condone it.

I was first made aware of hufu through this wonderful segment on the Daily Show in 2005;

Great, eh? The sad part is that the company and eathufu.com proved to be a bit of a financial disappointment. In mid 2006 it disappeared of the web, and a whole lot of people never did receive their t-shirts or hufu, or a refund.

So I guess we should just wish Mark Nuckols the best of luck in the arms business.